Me Vs The Scale... Dun nuh nuh

Freaking brr!

-6 degrees isn't a happy temperature and that's not including the wind chill.

I give up Mother Nature, what are you trying to prove here?!

Besides being frozen to death, happy Monday y'all !!!'

I bet a lot of you don't have to go to work today, and for those that do, please be safe! Luckily I have the day off! Whoo hoo!

I have some reading and other things I want to catch up on!

 Oh the busy life I lead!

Ha!

Now for the maaaiiiiinnnn attraction.. 

The scale.

Scale: Noun : an instrument used for weighing or measuring 

A definition as cold and straight to the point as the object itself.

I have a terrible relationship with the scale. Like love hate senerio. 

When I first started weighing my self it was around the time of my wedding, 7-7-12, I'm not going to lie I was tipping the scales around 240+ that I remember.  I was miserable, sad and depressed. I couldn't believe what that thing said. I was ashamed mostly because I knew that I had created the monster that stared back at me. This unhappy girl about to experience the happiest day of her life was going to look back at the pictures and cry, wish that so many things were different. I could try and pawn the blame, pretend that there was other reasons to blame. But in the end I was just lying to myself, I was at fault.

When I weighed in on 1-1-13, it was 228. Never in my life had I pictured myself being over 200lbs, I didn't feel THAT big. I knew was larger than most but I had a husband and friends, I mean c'mon if I was that big someone would say something?! Nope. I was that big and I had to realize it on my own. When I started trying to lose weight, the scale was my friend, I mean I loved seeing that number go down, it made me feel happy and accomplished. I developed an unhealthy relationship with the scale starting at this point. I'd step on the scale daily just to make sure I was still losing, sometimes three or four times a day.

Cmon we all do it. I KNOW Im not the only one!

I'd get on their before I ate, aftere I woke up and buck ass naked; that number right there was what I based my day off of. Would I do extra workouts tonight? What would my meals be like? Ect. It wasn't healthy and looking back now I know that. I wasn't Terrible with it or any thing but I'd workout extra long if the the number was higher than yesterday. Keep in mind this was at the beginning when I didn't fully understand the fluctuation of my body like I do now. But then I would go about my day, weight myself when I got home, after a workout and before bed. It was a stupid cycle that didn't help my self image. But as I continued to lose weight, the scale was my favorite part, I enjoyed it a lot, I liked seeing these low numbers, it was encouraging. As I lost more and more weight I introduced weight training into my workouts.

 This is were my scale relationship began to sour.

I always new that muscle weighed more than fat but I didn't fully comprehend that when I stepped onto the scale.

It started to irritate me when I stepped on the scale and it was the same or a little higher. I didn't understand, I was eating the same and working out more, how was this possible? 

It pissed me off honestly, I even went out a bought a new scale.

I was that desperate to see the number go down that I was pawning the blame again. 

The new scale showed the same results.

I moped around for a while and then as I surfed Pinterest I came across this picture:

And it finally freaking hit me. 

Muscle.

I was gaining muscle. I wasn't gaining fat back I was infact replacing it with something a bajillion and ten times better. I also started to learn that with the muscle I was gaining from adding weight lifting, I needed to eat differently too, I needed to fuel the muscle for optimum performance.

This is when I began to breakup with my scale. 

When I began measuring my body in pictures, how my clothes fit, how I felt. 

The realization that the scale was just a number finally started to stick. It measured my relationship with gravity, not my relationship with fitness, myself or my happiness. 

I started staying off of it more and more. 

I'd like to say that I don't ever use it.

But that'd be a lie and I'm not about lying.

I weigh myself a few times a week, but not as to judge my day of what I should eat or how much time I dedicate to exercise. I get on it to remind myself how far I've come. And that if I eat shit food, I will infact feel like shit, get bloated and the number will rise and it won't be because of muscles.

I'm content with my fluctuation of weight between 158-164lbs, muscle ad water weight have a lot to do with it and I understand that now. And when I get on it I get off just as happy as before. The scale isn't a judge of happiness or body image it is strictly a unit of measurement for me now.

Please please please I beg of you don't let the scale judge your happiness, go off of inches and how clothes fit!

Now with all that in mind go out and freaking own the day.

Screw this cruddy cold weather and get warm with a good workout.

Working out releases endorphins and endorphins make you happy, happy people just don't kill there husbands!

What what? Name that movie?!

Haha

Have a wonderful Monday ladies!!!

As always

-J