Fabulous Forty

A large T-shirt that was the right size,now just hangs off of me---a hoodie that was a little snug also just hangs off me as well.

The photo in the tie dye was Friday the 3rd and it was the day that I hit my 40 lbs GONE weight mark!

Rounds of applause and cheers

Im in awe, like for real people, Never would I have thought that I would actually lose the weight I wanted and let alone be this successful  I mean come on 40lbs in 4 months? 123 days? Im so utterly proud of my self and the changes I've seen in my body and the changes I know are yet to come.

I'm one of those girls who has always been a little bigger, an average size girl, not the skinny twig that wears a size 0.

 For real how is zero a size?

Thats not a measurement, its a lack there of.

What ev's.

But I have tried fad diet, shakes, wraps and those workout dvd's with matching diets and blah blah blah. Nothing ever stuck, nothing was working for me. Like no joke I started Insanity 3 times and never could make it past the seventh day. It wasn't that I couldn't do the exercise, I was capable of it but for some reason I couldn't get my heart and soul in to it.

I felt like a failure. 

I did.

I cried, a lot.

I was so miserable and upset with myself, I had never been this big in my life and I couldn't believe I had let all this extra weight sneak up on me. I was disgusted with the way I looked and that nothing I tried gave me the results I wanted instantly. 

Yeah I lost 5lbs here or there but it always found its way back, because I kept giving up.

Then all of a sudden, one day I was talking to my mom and she said to me "You didn't put it on overnight, it's not gonna go away overnight" and of course I've always knew that, but then hearing it at that point it my life just changed everything. 

And then I set out, I set out to make a plan, to make changes, to not let myself fail.

New years was upon me and I decided that this year, this effing year was going to be my year. Nothing, and I meant nothing, heaven nor hell, come drought or high waters, I was damned determined to be successful this time.

So I started researching and scanning the internet and pinterest, of course, for tips on weight loss, recipes, programs, and blogs of others who had or were making a similar journey.

And through all that I stumbled up a 5k race called The Color Run, and damn I thought that looks like a freaking good time.

So I decided that my new years goal this year was to run a 5k and not only run one but to make a change in my lifestyle to live a healthier life and better myself.

Thats exactly what I'm doing.

I watch what I eat, I count calories, and I read every damn food label.

I work out, not a few times a week, every damn day.

I cut out all the crap in my house, for real I grabbed a trash bag and went through cabinets and the fridge and threw away anything that could hinder my progress. I researched clean eating and good foods for my body, I opened my mind to trying new foods and replacing the shit I was eating that was making me miserable and let my body thrive on the good stuff.

The way I see crap food is like the mean popular girl in high school, you want it so so bad and for brief moments you feel good among them but no matter what at the end of the day, they make you feel like shit.

Why this time is different, Im not a 100% sure of.

I just made the decision to work my heart out, to make this one count, to make this year the best one yet.

 And I had motivation, the hubby, never commented on my weight or anything, he loved me, every last miserably disgusting pound of me. But every time I told him I wanted to start this fad diet or that fad diet or so on, he started being less supportive, because he knew just as well as I did that I wasn't going to stick with it. That that product in a week would be in the grave yard of supplements and fads in the junk cabinet. 

And that struck a nerve.

I wanted to be successful, and I thought I'll try this healthy eating, and Couch to 5k program and I'm going to prove him wrong, but most importantly, I was going to prove me wrong.

So it began, and I made it through the first week, the first month, half way, two months, and then I had completed the 5k program,

WHAT?

I had lost 20lbs at this point and Couldn't of been more proud.

So I decided hell I'll do the program again, and I did, and I lost 14 more pounds.

Through out this journey, probably four weeks into this year, four weeks into my journey, I knew then that this was going to be the time when things worked out. This weight loss adventure clicked.

I had found the right path and for once I was equipped with all the right tools.

The hub?

He was so freaking proud and after the fist week of working out, he told me that, he supported me 1,010%, he encouraged me, he cheered me on, he made me feel so freaking good. 

Then I began to see the changes, I saw that I was capable, that I can and will do this, it may be a long journey. But Its my journey and I'm going to make the most out of it.

Yes sometimes I have bad days, yes I eat junk on occasion, but I do it in moderation, I watch the portions, I do trade offs with myself.

I'll tell myself, yeah you can have that ice cream sandwhich (skinny cow, of course) but why don't you do a little extra on abs tonight.

That works for me.

Thats the big hitter right there, 

it works for ME

its MY journey

I'M losing weight for MYSELF.

I stopped doing every last thing that others were doing. I stopped following their plans to a T and began doing things that worked for ME.

Don't let the time it takes to achieve the goal stop you from going after it, the time will pass anyways, and in a year are you going to look back and say I wish I would of started then or are you going to say Damn, look how far I've come.

How great it is to feel proud of yourself on your journey.

- J